~Canvas and Cocktails~

I went to my doctor and had more labs drawn to see if my thyroid levels are in the normal range yet, and of course it still isn’t, but it’s not far away.  It was at 6 and it needs to be between 0.5 and 3.0.  - I don’t know if I have ever mentioned in my previous posts, but my thyroid is also huge! -  It is double the size of a normal thyroid.  I think it has gone down too since starting the Synthroid. My next appointment with Dr. F is in December.  I can’t wait to see normal lab work……hopefully!    

After we lost Peyton I lost about 30 lbs –it was definitely because of depression - but I have managed to gain 10 of it back.  I know a lot of it has to do with my thyroid, but I am also a stress eater. I have been trying to find a diet that I can start and stick with, and after reading so many great reviews about the G.I. Diet and how it can also help your fertility, I decided to start it.  Can I just say that I really love it!  I don’t care for any of the baked sweets or anything, but it still isn’t bad, and this diet is very doable!  Tonight I created my own recipe and it was really good!  My husband even liked it!  I sautéed some garlic and onions in a little EVOO and then added chunked up chicken, a bag of spinach, sliced portabellas, grated parmesan cheese, a little 100% whole wheat flour - for thickening, and  100% whole wheat spaghetti!  I then squeezed a lemon all over, salt and pepper, and a little drizzle more of EVOO!  AWESOME….I could not believe it turned out – I did not think it was going to be good to be completely honest!  

In another area of my life, I have been trying to get back into the reality of life and out of this cloud of depression I have been under for too long, so I found a little part time job working 2 days a week 3 hours a shift.  I know it is not a lot, but it helps.  I have been a bartender for 10 years, but I have not bartended for 2 of those ten, and this is what I am doing at this nice little steak house.  I like it so far, but I am also realizing that - I think my glory days of being a happy fun loving bartender, are over… I really wish I could be that person again because being that person means not having to have lost my baby.  Now, I am forever changed in every aspect of my life.  Don’t get me wrong, Peyton was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I thank God for him every single day still!  The saying, “Better to have loved than not to have loved at all”, is totally true in every aspect, but I can say, without a doubt, that a huge piece of me died when Peyton died.  I am also getting good at when “THAT QUESTION” is going to be asked, especially since nobody knows me there.  That question being, “So, do you and your husband have any children Alisha”,  I know this is a very common question and I also have asked people this in the past, but now it is the most dreaded question ever! Not that I don’t want to talk about Peyton, but I don’t want to be the emotional talked about “new girl” either….LOL  I can just see me running full sprint into the bathroom –which is a one stall deal- and staying in there for hours trying to calm down - because that is so me!  I am getting to meet a lot of nice people.  The mayor of OS is in there all the time and so are a lot of our other local political people.  90% of the people are in there every night!  It’s just one of those upscale downtown lounges/restaurants. 

I am so excited about my birthday, which is Friday October 22.  I don’t know what we will do, or if Larry has anything planned for us, but tomorrow night is going to be an awesome “early birthday celebration!”  I managed to get 15 of my girlfriends together for a birthday get together at B.Y.O.Brush.  This place is so much fun!  What it basically is, is a painting party!  You get your friends and you bring bottles of wine (or whatever else you drink- I drink Cabernet) and some finger foods and the class begins! You paint, and I must say, I do not have an artistic bone in my body, but for some reason they teach you so good that you end up with a masterpiece every time, even people who thought they couldn’t draw a straight line can do this!  I have done it twice before and I had a blast!!!  Ok, here are the 2 paintings I have done there before…don’t laugh, but I really think  they are good considering I have never ever picked up a paint brush before!